It is summer time. Okay, fine. It is spring time. But if you went outside at all this week, you will know that it is actually summer time. That means that it is important for you to go camping. If you do so immediately, you can start bragging quicker. When all of those other losers are like, "Gee maybe I will go camping," you can cackle in their faces and say, "Oh...sure. I mean, I already did that this year. But good for you." If camping isn't a competitive activity, what is? You can lord your s'mores knowledge over others, tell tales about your wizardry at tent assembly, and kayak like a maniac.
Of course, there will be times when you are just sitting in the dirt wondering what your life is about and why you can't get rid of that terrible smell in your car. Those are the moments when you would be better off distracting yourself with some reading material. This is a great opportunity for you to read Thoreau's Walden and maybe to wear the accompanying t-shirt. Here at Bookbug, we have both. I'm wearing the t-shirt now. I'm serious. No, really. Fine, behold:
Then, as you read his passages about the whole "lives of quiet desperation" thing and you feel yourself tearing up and smeared in mud and sandwich crumbs, you can use that canteen of yours to swab the filth from your bicep and apply our literary temporary tattoos, which also come in the Walden varietal.
Now pat yourself on the back. You might feel like you are an imposter because you just camped for like, an hour and a half, but you should be proud. That Thoreau guy was actually only mile out of town and chilling on Emerson's land. I'm serious.